Minneapolis Photographer – Olive Avenue Photography

It’s hard to believe this is the start of year 2 of this amazing photography project!  I’ve so enjoyed being a part of this passionate circle of women who have become to feel like old friends.  After you finish reading my letter…pour yourself a cup of coffee and follow the chain of letters written by amazing moms and photographers across the globe…starting with the uber talented and super sweet Shalonda Chaddock of Chubby Cheek Photography | Houston TX Child Photographer!

“There were once two sisters
who were not afraid of the dark
because the dark was full of the other’s voice
across the room,
because even when the night was thick
and starless
they walked home together from the river
seeing who could last the longest
without turning on her flashlight,
not afraid
because sometimes in the pitch of night
they’d lie on their backs
in the middle of the path
and look up until the stars came back
and when they did,
they’d reach their arms up to touch them
and did.”
― from The Sky is Everywhere

I watch the two of you together and my heart is happy.  Happy to have been a part of giving you something I always yearned for down to the tips of my toes.  A set of eyes to look into…a hand to hold…just a presence when I felt oh so alone in the ups and downs of childhood.  A playmate, confidant, friend.  A sister.  That word still strikes a chord of longing in my heart…but it’s more of a whisper now.  Now that I know you have each other.

It’s been something to watch your relationship unfold like a flower these past months.  It hasn’t been perfectly simple or easy for you joining each other’s lives at 5 years old.  And yet, you have fallen into each other with such grace.  There is an understanding of this sisterhood between you that goes well beyond your awareness of it.  Someday you will realize the depth of it.  Your bond goes beyond family.  Beyond what even I can comprehend.  Who can comprehend the tie that binds two souls who came into this world only to bare such a tremendous loss as their welcome? You both had to wait and journey to your family.  Those early experiences tether your hearts together whether you remember those events or not. And I believe from the bottom of my heart that you were always intended to find each other.  To walk this life hand tightly in hand.

So my girls.  I hope you see the gift you have in each other.  I pray that you will have loyalty and love for one another that stretches beyond words. That you watch over each other.  Teach each other.  Laugh together until your tummies hurt.  Tell secrets.  Fight and make up.  That when you are old you can look at each other and see the girls you once were…and the sisters you will always be.

I love you both so much.

Dear Miss P,

I tucked you in bed tonight and you said, ‘thanks for caring about me, mom.’  Who are you…and how did we get so lucky?  Child…you amaze me.

I love that you still believe we will get married when you are older and that we will be together forever.  What a beautiful and innocent thought.  I wish it could be so…that we would always be like we are now.  But I know that soon, too soon…you will fly away.  Pursue your dreams and passions, fall in love…have a family of your own.  This time I have with you is so precious.  I swear, somewhere in the distance I can hear some clock ticking.  Some voice whispering, ‘these are the best days of your life, Jess, treasure them.’  And I try.  I try so hard.   But finding balance and remembering what is important is a constant battle.  To live a present life.  To put the phone down.  Turn off the television.  To just stop.  And breath in the scent of your hair.  To hear the little lisp that appeared after you lost your first 2 teeth.  To just look into each other’s eyes for no reason.  To see the scuffs on your favorite shoes from playing so hard.  To notice how your voice is just a little more grown today and a little less…little girl.  It’s hard in these times…and I worry it will be harder for you when you are a mommy someday.  But I can tell you.  Those little things are all that is worth living for.  Not the big paycheck or the fancy house.  Not fame or frilly accolades.  In our last hours…who clings to the physical things in this life?  Who takes comfort in a title?  No, in our last moments we relish in the love we have and the love we’ve given.

It may seem strange to reflect on such things that seem as though they will not happen for forever.  And yet.  You are 6 today.  Just like that 5 is gone.  I can hardly believe it…just like every year.  Time goes by so fast.  Too fast.  I wish I could tell you to stay little, and that you would listen.

And so we try and make every moment count.  I make an effort to check on you each night before I go to bed even though I am tired and sometimes can barely make it up the stairs.  To watch you sleep for just a minute…to hear your soft breathing.  In hopes that I might put that memory away for later, at the time I look back on my life and remember what I lived for and what I loved most.

Happy birthday my sweet girl.  You were my first…and you changed my life forever.  I never could have imagined the joy I’d know as your mother…I never knew it was possible to love someone so much.  But I do.

Here are your last moments of 5…what a special year it was…

Always, Your mama

Now head over to Sara Tegman | St. Louis Photographer for her letter and amazing photographs!